The Most Expensive Apple Ever

For Eve, it was the apple. For me, it was the apple. Until yesterday I’d never thought twice about Eve and her delicious, red fruit. In fact, I’d always thought it was quite cool that Eve had been complex enough to be persuaded by some sort of inner temptation. While Adam kind of just frolicked nakedly around Eden, Eve was all “Hey, that fruit looks delicious. I want it because it’s clearly the best.“ Some might call that greedy and naïve, but I prefer “rebellious” and “determined.”

 Now, however, I’ve been forced to rethink the whole Adam and Eve story.  Why, why, why did she need to take the apple?! Since it was Eve who first took a bite of that sinful apple back in the day, subsequently dooming all of mankind (particularly those of the femle sex), I blame her. Yeah, that’s right; if it hadn’t been for Eve, I would never have been caught by New Zealand’s Biosecurity Customs for “apple smuggling” (my term, not theirs).  She cursed all apples. There’s just no other explanation.

I’ll start at the beginning:

I like apples. So do most people. They’re a good fruit--crunchy, sweet, refreshing. So it’s no surprise that I bought a few apples last week to snack on while working reception (instead of biting the head off an annoying customer, I bite into my apple instead….not quite as satisfying, but it does the trick/doesn‘t get me in trouble).

Fast forward a few days. I walked off the plane in Christchurch, NZ, only to see many signs advertising New Zealand’s strict biosecurity measures. No fruit. No produce at all. No dirt. No wood. Nothing fresh that might have fruit flies or any sort of biological threat to New Zealand’s beautiful country. Totally understandable, but I of course thought nothing of it. Who travels abroad with fresh produce anyway?

Well, clearly I do because as my bag was getting scanned, a little red apple popped up on the screen. Oh SHIT, I thought to myself. I left one of those snacking apples in my bag. You would have thought I had a bomb in there or something, as I was quickly pulled aside and escorted to the “Biosecurity Questioning Room.” Granted, there wasn’t much questioning to do, but they did issue me a $200 fine for “attempting to bring in fresh produce, namely one apple” into New Zealand. Blargh.

At first I was outraged--practically on the verge of tears--that is, until I realized that 200 NZD is less than $150 USD. Plus, I began to feel terrible for having potentially put beautiful New Zealand at risk. A bit stupid of me, I’ll admit. In retrospect, I realize the fine was perhaps very much deserved (although they could’ve just taken my apple and called it a day! Ugh!).

Moreover, just as they finally finished processing my fine, another young American woman was brought over. The officer escorting her carried a Red Delicious apple in his hand. I looked at her somberly and asked, “An apple?” She nodded yes. I pointed to a few feet away where my lonely Royal Gala sat atop a Customs desk, looking ever so lonely. “Me too.” We looked at each other sympathetically, and then she somewhat dramatically looked up towards the sky in frustration (a $200 fine can do that to you). In retrospect, I assume she was cursing Eve as well--metaphorically shaking her first, if you will.

The worst thing, though, is that I never had the chance to enjoy my apple. I suppose such is life.